Why It's Not Just Perimenopause but a System That Fails Women in Their Midlife

Midlife can be a confusing and overwhelming time for many women. As they navigate physical and emotional changes, such as those experienced during perimenopause, it’s easy to attribute these feelings entirely to biology and hormones. However, many women may not realise that these struggles often arise from a system that fails to meet their needs, leading to burnout, anxiety, and frustration. Let's explore how years of conditioning, societal expectations and systemic shortcomings contribute significantly to midlife challenges, emphasising the importance of women taking charge of their own experiences.

Perimenopause Symptoms

Women often embark on a tumultuous journey during their 30s and 40s, where symptoms like fatigue, anxiety, mysterious symptoms and mood swings become more prevalent. While perimenopause plays a definite role, in the physical and mental changes, it is essential to acknowledge the broader context that influences these feelings that stem from years of emotional build up.

As women approach midlife, they often face increasing responsibilities. In fact, a 2022 survey found that 70% of women reported feeling overwhelmed by balancing career pressures, parenting, and caring for ageing parents. This convergence can lead to heightened stress levels, making it challenging to differentiate between normal life transitions and hormonal changes. Instead of solely attributing these challenges to perimenopause, women should explore the complexities and demands of their lives, including childhood conditioning and expectations that contributes to changes during this time.

Women in their 40's want peace and security, but often feel displaced and forgotten.

Why it's NOT Just Perimenopause

From a young age, women face societal expectations regarding beauty, roles, and success. You're told who to be and how you should be, according to the programming your caregivers have instilled in you. By midlife, there is often feelings of enormous pressure to "have it all together" - the successful career, finances, relationship, security and the reality ends up being very different for a lot of women, where they end up feeling like a failure and/or battling imposter syndrome. Managing multiple roles can lead to exhaustion, heightened stress, and feeling like they are failing on all fronts, prompting women to question their value.

This idea of "an ideal life" and often encouraged on social media, can foster resentment, anxiety, and deep dissatisfaction. Research shows that 60% of women feel societal pressures make it harder to enjoy their midlife. Instead of recognising the personal growth and wisdom that comes with age, society often overlooks the inherent struggles women face during this transition. This lack of understanding can lead to isolation and a perpetual cycle of burnout. We have become the forgotten ones labelled as angry and uptight and that we need to just "loosen up" all the while still doing the majority of the heavy lifting and emotional labour for those around us.

The Impact on Relationships

As women navigate midlife, their emotional landscape undergoes significant changes, affecting relationships. For instance, as children become more independent or longtime partners evolve, and relationships change over time, feelings of frustration and confusion often intensify.

Communication can break down when partners do not fully understand each other's changes. A study revealed that 53% of couples report difficulty in discussing emotional needs during midlife transitions. Women may withdraw emotionally, leading to further strain in relationships. If discussions center solely on perimenopause without addressing the broader systemic issues, women may feel unheard and invisible in their struggles.

The Career Crises

Many women in midlife find themselves at a crossroads in their careers. Despite achieving numerous accomplishments, a sense of disillusionment can creep in. Is it burnout? It may also stem from a work environment that fails to accommodate evolving needs. The current expectations of workplaces with regards to imput and hours spent at work are not conjusive to a woman's cyclic nature or most productivity.

In fact, 45% of women report considering a career change during their late 30s and 40s, seeking alignment with personal values that have been neglected. However, systemic barriers frequently hinder the pursuit of new opportunities, leading many to feel trapped in unfulfilling roles. Self-doubt and lack of self-confidence also inhibit a woman's sense of worth, leaving her to dwindle in an unsatisfying career.

Embracing Your Authenticity

Women in midlife must reclaim their narratives and advocate for their needs. Rather than allowing systemic failures to define them, they can focus on embracing their evolving identities. This involves prioritising both physical health and emotional well-being.

Self-care is essential, not optional. Whether through therapy, mindfulness practices, or simply taking moments to unplug and reflect, women can gain clarity about their personal journeys. Furthermore, connecting with others through support groups or friendships can provide solidarity and support as women navigate these changes together. I often encourage my clients to go out an explore whats around them, in a effort to connect with other's that are like-minded and find what lights them up as if their lives depend on it. Because truthfully, it really does.

Challenging the Status Quo

If it’s not just perimenopause, how can we address systemic issues? Raising awareness is crucial. Conversations about women's health, work-life balance, and emotional well-being must evolve from quiet discussions to mainstream dialogue. Making ourselves a priority before pouring into others is often entirely foriegn to most women, but is the benchmark during this time as we require more help and support to grow through this chapter of our lives.

Creating inclusive environments for women is imperative. This includes advocating for workplace policies that support work-life balance, providing access to mental health resources, and ensuring medical professionals understand the comprehensive experiences of midlife women. Having open-hearted conversations to normalise what you are moving through, will help to break the stigma and give yourself the permission to be authentic.

Final Thoughts

The challenges women face in midlife are not solely driven by biological changes; rather, they reveal a need for reflection, advocacy, and empowerment to break free from systemic constraints. By recognising that it’s not just perimenopause but often a system that is unkind to women and built for men, those in midlife can take significant steps toward reclaiming their voices and shaping their experiences.

Midlife doesn’t have to equate to a crisis; it can mark a flourishing chapter of personal growth and discovery. As we confront both personal and societal challenges, it will empower us to lead meaningful lives. Understanding these issues gives permission to foster relationships, careers, and identities that align with who we truly are.

Living authentically is the most empowering and healing thing we can do for ourselves and our loved ones, because this leads to true happiness.

Feeling fed up is just the beginning of a transformative journey. You are not alone. Embrace this path to pave the way for a more aligned life on your own terms.